I hate to admit this.....

Hi There,

I hate this sad, but true fact.   I have been seriously considering adoption for my baby boy or girl.

You see my life as many can possibly relate, has not gone in the direction I was hoping.  God had his plans for us I know.    Although, he has chosen a strange time for this little one to come along.    "Baby daddy" (of whom I pray for often) is not in the picture per my choice.    He can love so deeply, sincerely, and graciously.  He has at times been there for me, and has been my best friend.   He loves his daughter more than life.  I believe he would love this child the same.    The flip side of that, is horific,  this side my children will not witness. People can change and I pray for a change.  Not a change in him but a change in myself.   I pray.... that God gives me the strength  to do this again.      I pray.... not to rely on people, but rely on my faith.  People will disappoint, but God loves unconditionally.   I pray.... that I start making better choices for my children.   I pray... I love and protect them as he would.     I pray... that if I do find a family more equipped than I. That they would love and protect my child, mimicking Jesus's love, just as I would.   I want my children to have the universe.  I would lasso a shooting star. Bringing it down here for them if that's what was required to make them happy and healthy.    I don't know why things happen, I don't even know if there is a reason for it.   All I know is, you do what you have to.   You do it not because it's easy, right, or wrong.  You do it because it's what you think is the best for you in that moment.  If in the moment, you find it to be the wrong choice. You then find a solution to make it right. 

This is my prayer for my children, my family, and their families.  

It takes a village they all say.  Well that village is smaller than we know.  Let's not build walls.  Let's knock the walls down, and come together for our children.